The Art of Zombology
by ZombieApocalypse911
Summary: Emmett and Bella are two siblings who are in the middle of a zombie apocolypse. Follow their adventure of fighting evil zombies, weird unknown creatures, and...carrots? Em/R, B/A, E/T, C/Es
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING: This story is completly random, not that it doesn't have a plot, it just has things coming at you at every corner.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Probably never will...unless I became the dictator of the world and forced Stephenie Meyer to give me the rights to her book (but that will never happen).**

**A/N: Hope you enjoy the story and its randomness! **

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><p>Have you ever felt like you had your head between your legs while running full speed down a slippery road? Then when you finally decide to lift your head up to make it easier for you, there's two bananas dancing in the street as they worship the almighty marshmallow? But then the marshmallow spontaneously combusts and the bananas cry mournfully and throw themselves at it as if their yellow peels can magically put out the flames? Because after the past few months, if this happened to me, it would be the sanest thing yet.<p>

"Emmett, a little help down here!" my sister yelled from the basement.

I dropped the banana I was chewing thoughtfully on and raced down the stairs. When I reached the last step, I had to bite my lip from laughing at the scene in front of me. Bella was frantically hitting zombies in the face with a baseball bat to keep them from crawling in our basement window.

Instead of giving in to the laughter that was trying to escape my throat, I grabbed the nearest item and launched it at the gruesome face in front of me.

"OW!" Bella cradled her face and stumbled backwards. Oh, whoops. Wrong gruesome face.

Bella looked at me with a dumbstruck expression, "Did you just throw a pencil at me?"

I shrugged and innocently looked around the room. It is not my fault her face was so similar to the creature that had saliva oozing down its mouth, and - ew. Did it have spinach stuck in its teeth? I didn't even know zombies _ate _spinach.

As I was about to throw up the banana I snacked on earlier, the zombie tumbled inside the basement and latched onto Bella's ankle. Bella shrieked and grabbed the pencil that I threw at her face and stabbed the zombie in the hand.

The zombie groaned and kept its hand wrapped firmly around her ankle, no hint of pain evident in its eyes. That is one thing about these ugly cannibals: they don't feel anything. Once, I "accidentally" threw one in a wood chipper. As it was slowly shredded from the bottom and up, it only desperately threw its arms in my direction, begging me to come closer so I could be its meaty-meal.

They were determined little freaks.

I hurried and snatched the 44-magnum pistol that was lying on the metal table in the left corner of the basement. Hanging on the walls, propped up on tables, and even latched on the ceiling, there's any type of modern firearms you could imagine; from a semi-automatic pistol, to a M14A1 rifle. And somehow, out of all this equipment, Bella decided to grab a _bat_. I worry about that girl.

I strode over to the zombie that was currently about to make a meal out of my sister and shot it twice in the head. It instantly went rigid and dropped its hand from Bella's ankle. Bella then jumped over to the open window and slammed it shut, effectively blocking out all the other groaning zombies.

She let out relieved breath and turned to me accusingly, "Why didn't you do that earlier?"

I shrugged and put the pistol on safety, "I like to watch you suffer."

I grinned when she glared at me with those mismatched eyes of hers. Her left eye was blue while her right was a light shade of green. You wouldn't be able to tell if you were far away, but if you were up close, you would be awe-stricken by her eyes.

Or get slapped because you invaded her personal space.

I placed the pistol back on the wooden table and looked around the room. Three months ago it wouldn't have seemed normal to be shooting up zombies, but ever since the virus broke out, people adapted to the new world they lived in. You can think of it as evolution, only without the whole theory of monkeys gradually evolving into humans (which is total bull). We had to adapt to our environment and learn how to survive. I mean, it's a man-eating-man world; you can't exactly invent a new law saying, 'No person shall eat another person', and expect zombies to oblige.

Anyways, we've moved on from the past and are trying to forget what it was like before all this happened. Just like everyone didn't really care about what it was like in 314 A.D. The only people who actually cared about history were the kids in school that sat in the front row, taking notes to even the stutters that came out of the teacher's mouth. I really hated those kids. Every time they walked in my direction, I wanted to pelt headless chickens at them.

Bella sighed, "Whatever. Just don't come crying to me when you find yourself in a hassle with zombies and I take my precious time in saving you."

"Okay, one, I would never cry, and two, I am far too superbly amazing to ever get in a hassle with a zombie." I flexed my biceps and smiled so widely that even Barney would be put to shame.

Bella was about to retort but paused, looking at my amazing smile. "That's just creepy Emmett." My wide smile faded and I pouted at her, my eyes getting watery. Nobody can resist the pout! It is my secret power.

She rolled her eyes and glided past me up the stairs.

NO! My powers have failed me! I crumbled down to the floor and went in a fetal position, crying with despair. But then I realized how dirty the floor is and jumped up, composing myself.

I followed her up the stairs, only stopping to pick up my cookie monster stuffed animal that was lying on the steps. Its fur was covered in so many things to where the blue monster almost looked brown. But I still loved the little guy. He has been with me for so many years, that it would be as if a member of the family died if I ever lost him. Plus, mom gave him to me when I was six.

"_Mommy, mommy!" I screamed and ran into her, curling my little arms around her legs. "Bella scared me again!" _

_Mom laughed and bent down to pick me up, swinging me in the air as I giggled. "What did she do this time?" she asked._

"_She threw a carrot at my head!" I pouted and looked up at her with gleaming eyes._

"_Aw, want me to kiss it all better?" Mom cooed. _

_I nodded and smiled a toothy grin when she pressed her lips to my forehead, kissing it soundly. Mom then set me down, kneeling on the gray carpet and digging through her bag that was previously dropped on the living room floor._

_She pulled out a fuzzy blue creature, cradling it towards her chest as she turned to me. "I have a surprise for you." Mom smiled, her electric blue eyes shining in the light, and handed me the little blue blob. _

_I squealed (What? I'm six; leave me alone!) and hugged the little creature to me. I've been obsessed with the Cookie Monster ever since my eyes would stay in one place long enough to actually see what was happening on the television (I was easily distracted...). _

_I hesitated in suffocating the blue monster, if it even breathes, and launched myself at my mom. She easily caught me and laughed in my ear. _

"_Happy Birthday."_

I choked back tears and climbed the rest of the steps. Bella was already in the living room, lounging on the couch with a coke in her hand. She better of not took the last one. I will mangle her face.

Bella looked over at me and smirked, "It's the last one."

My eyes widened and I gazed at the little can of coke, with its water dripping down the sides, and its oh-so-magical-goodness that laid inside.

That's the second time that day I had to choke back tears.

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><p><strong>AN: So what do you think? Not random enough? Leave your interesting and creative responses in the review...thingy. Can anybody guess where the beginning of that sentence is from?**


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING: This story is completly random, not that it doesn't have a plot, it just has things coming at you at every corner.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Probably never will...unless I became the dictator of the world and forced Stephenie Meyer to give me the rights to her book (but that will never happen).**

**A/N: Hope you enjoy the story and its randomness! **

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><p>I looked up at the sunset, my green eyes glistening with unshed tears. I then reached my hand into the inside of my black vest, pulling out a banana and peeling the yellow fruit. I munched on it and could feel my emotions spiraling upward.<p>

"Would you knock it off with the bananas already!" Bella screamed at me.

I looked over at her through my banana goodness. We were on a food hunt. After Bella drank the last can of coke I realized that we had barely any food to last us for the rest of the week. Now we were raiding town for at least a month supply of groceries.

It was a relevantly small town, only about 2000 people living here. Well, used to be living; no pun intended.

"I can't help it that you're jealous of me and B's relationship Bella!" I cried at her.

"B's?" she asked. I ignored her and murmured comforting words to my beloved B.

Bella scoffed and turned away, continuing down the deserted road. I followed after her, once again munching on my banana.

We were both dressed in black army vests, with multiple pockets that were heavy with ammo and other weapon artillery. Strapped on my back was an AK-47; loaded of course, and strapped at the front at my sides were two pistols. Bella had the same things strapped to her, only there was a rifle instead of an AK-47 strapped to her back.

I trudged behind Bella as I looked at the rubble I used to call home. When the town started to be overrun by zombies, chaos erupted. Fires that were started to weed out zombies lost control, screams rang in people's ears as they packed their bags in their car and fled out of town, and gunshots echoed in the streets along with the occasional thud of a body hitting the ground. Most of the time you couldn't tell whether or not the person you just shot at was infected. You figured it out when they started screaming.

Bella threw her arm out in front of me and stopped me from moving forward. She took out her pistol and nodded to the right.

There, standing around the corner, were about forty groaning zombies crowding around a convenience store. For its name, it sure isn't convenient...

"We should head back in the direction we came from and go around them." Bella whispered.

I quickly nodded, whole-heartily agreeing with her. I took a step backwards, ready to turn around.

Big mistake.

I tripped on a stray can of Pepsi and tumbled backwards, swinging my arms like a mad-man, trying to catch my balance. I ended up falling head first into a steel trash can, knocking it over and cringing when it clanged painfully against the sidewalk and rolled into the middle of the road.

I groaned and glanced up at Bella. She looked as if she was contemplating on either to help me up and run as far away as possible or to pick the trashcan back up and repeatedly bash me in the head with it. Instead she glared at me, opening her mouth to say something but stopped, a look of horror running across her face.

"The groaning stopped..." she breathed out.

I could really use another banana right now.

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><p><strong>AN: So whadya guys think? Random enough? Or is it _too_ random? **

**Leave your interesting and creative responses in the Review thingy below.**


	3. Chapter 3

**WARNING: This story is completly random, not that it doesn't have a plot, it just has things coming at you at every corner.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Probably never will...unless I became the dictator of the world and forced Stephenie Meyer to give me the rights to her book (but that will never happen).**

**A/N: Hope you enjoy the story and its randomness! **

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><p>Bella quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me up roughly. She spared a quick glance at the convenience store that now had zombies running in our direction. Usually in all the zombie movies I've ever watched, the zombies always run incredibly slow. But not these suckers. As soon as they hear any type of noise or smell anything peculiar, they start booking it like a fat kid chasing the ice cream truck on a hot summer day (which is surprisingly fast).<p>

We started sprinting back the way we came. I took extra time to avoid the Pepsi can that now laid squished on the cemented sidewalk. Who even drinks Pepsi anyways? Coke is so much better. Coke is like the God of all beverages. Coke is like Batman while Pepsi is Robin, the sidekick that nobody really cares about. But, honestly, I think Batman and Robin have something going on. Why else would Robin listen to Batman's every command and where tights all the time? That got me wondering if the tights were tight enough to hide Robin's Batman-induced erection.

"Emmett! Would you please come back from wherever you were and RUN!" Bella yelled at me as she shot a zombie that was getting too close with her pistol. She gained ten feet ahead of me while I was thinking a completely ordinary series of thoughts.

As we rounded another corner, we stopped dead in our tracks as there were about fifteen more zombies blocking the road. I turned around, about to head down the opposite direction but the zombies that were following us were already starting to round the corner. I slung my AK-47 in front of me and started firing off at the zombies while scooting closer to my sister. She fired her pistol at the zombies in front of us while I worked at the ones behind.

We can't handle it. There's about a hundred of them and only two of us. I shot a zombie that was getting exceedingly close to us in the head and watched as it landed in front of my feet.

"Emmett! Follow me!" Bella shoutedat me. I followed her voice and found her on the left side of the street, climbing a ladder that was on the side of the building while kicking at zombies that tried to follow her up.

"Okay! Hold on!" I yelled. I moved in her direction and shot any zombies that were in my way. I reached the ladder and she held out her hand, trying to help me up.

Just as I started reaching out my hand, an explosion went off. I was knocked to the other side of the road, banging my forehead against the wall. I slid down the wall to the concrete floor and tried to focus on something besides the ringing in my ears. My eyes started to shut without my permission as I heard someone in the distance shouting my name.

Then everything went black.

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the huge delay guys. And I'm sorry for how I can't come up with any excuses for this huge delay. But I hope you enjoyed this chaper, even though it's pretty short.**

**Leave your interesting and creative responses in the review thingy below.**

**Seriously. Right down there...underlined and in blue letters.**


	4. Chapter 4

**WARNING: This story is completly random, not that it doesn't have a plot, it just has things coming at you at every corner.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Probably never will...unless I became the dictator of the world and forced Stephenie Meyer to give me the rights to her book (but that will never happen).**

**A/N: Hope you enjoy the story and its randomness!**

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><p>I opened my eyes and squinted into the dimly lit room. My head was pounding against my skull and my limbs felt like they were just swallowed by an alligator, spit back out, and stabbed thirty seven times.<p>

Okay...maybe they didn't hurt that much, but they still protested my every movement by giving me pain. Maybe they were on strike, trying to get me to stop moving for the rest of my life. I would gladly do that if it made them happy.

A door in front of me suddenly opened, Bella peeking her head around it. When she realized I was awake, she fully opened the door and a huge smile spread across her face. Her eyes gleaming, she took a step into the room.

Only to trip and start falling to the floor.

I watched in slow motion as the smile slowly faded off her face and an open mouthed dumbstruck expression took its place as she flailed her arms out. I would have laughed if I didn't see her holding a tray of bananas and a can of coke. Instead my eyes widened and I reached out my arms as a feeble attempt at catching my precious B's and the can of heaven. Still in slow motion, I deeply cried out, "Nooooo...!"

I watched, horror-stricken, as the bananas crashed to the floor and she landed on top of them, crushing the life out of them. I just stared, crying out with my arms stretched out in front of me with the occasional spasm in my hands, as the can of coke skidded across the floor, spraying its heavenly essence everywhere.

My bottom lip quivered and tears burned in my eyes. "What...what have you done?" I cried. I shot up from the couch I was laying on, and ignoring my protesting limbs, darted forward to the tray of bananas.

Bella rolled her eyes and helped herself up, "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for asking."

"Y-you...you crushed t-them." I gazed forlornly at the bananas oozing yellow slime.

"I didn't mean to! I tripped and...are you crying?" she asked as she stared at me perplexed.

I looked away from her and sniffled, "N-no."

She continued to look at me queerly for a minute before she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Waiting for her to be out of earshot, I picked up the mushy bananas and cradled them to my heart, rocking back and forth and muffling my sobs by stuffing banana peels in my mouth.

Bella found me and hour later knocked out in front of the door with banana mush smeared all over my face.

~BLOOP~

I narrowed my eyes at the stained carpet, taking extra care to completely ignore the people in front of me. After I washed my face clear of the banana mush, Bella informed me that we had three guests in our living room waiting for me. They were the people who threw the bomb 20 feet away from me, which then threw _me _into a brick wall all the way across the street, knocking me out almost in an instant.

"I am really sorry about that..." a boy my age apologized to me. He was sitting on the leather sofa in front of me with another guy and girl on either side of him. He had untamable bronze hair that stood out in every direction. It wasn't even stylish; it just looked like he ran his hands through it every five seconds. He didn't show much emotion on his face either, his brown eyes only holding a hint of an apology for almost killing me. He was an average height with a slim, but muscular figure. I could totally beat him in an arm wrestling match.

I just glared at him, deciding not to say anything and just burn him with my laser eyes. Was it really necessary to throw a bomb in the middle of a hundred zombies? I mean, sure, we were outnumbered by a lot and some even got close enough to bite us, but that didn't mean we needed _his _help. I would've preferred to be saved by drooling sheep that hissed at you when you tried to pet them.

The guy next to the wild haired dude fidgeted and cleared his throat, "Well, I'm Jacob and these two are Edward and Tanya. We really are sorry for almost making you explode into a million pieces. It would have been cool..." Tanya reached over Edward and slapped him on the head, "but we're still very sorry." Jacob continued while rubbing the back of his head and grimacing.

He had dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. He had a slim figure with so much muscle it looked like he took steroids, and a really tan skin tone. But he also had a really annoying voice that made me want to slap him every time he talked. I have a feeling I won't like this guy.

"Apology not accepted. Now get out of my house." I replied in a monotone.

"Emmett!" Bella scolded while raising her hand as if about to hit me in the head, but thought better of it considering I still have a head injury and all

Tanya chuckled and stared me down with crazed eyes. She looked as if she were five feet and four inches tall, with blonde hair, almost white. She was very skinny, but not an unhealthy look to it. Her light blue eyes danced with humor, as if someone just whispered a joke in her ear and she was trying to contain her mirth. She started to lean forward, lifting a blonde eyebrow, "Do you really want us to head out now, while it's about to get dark outside?"

My eyes widened and I hurriedly searched for a window. SHIZ! She was right. The sun is starting to set. I glanced at Bella and found her just as shocked as I was. She must've not been paying attention either.

Bella jumped up from beside me and started to pull down all of the metal plating to cover each window and lock it in place. We had to make sure they couldn't see us, and we sure didn't want to see them. By _them _I don't mean zombies. Something far more gruesome and deadlier.

"I take it that you're going to let us stay for the night?" Tanya assumed, making herself more comfortable on the couch by snuggling up to it.

I scowled at her comfortable figure and lazy smile and begrudgingly said, "Fine, but no eating any of the bananas...or drinking any of the coke."

Edward finally let a small grin form; throwing an arm over Tanya's shoulders and kicking his feet up on the glass table in front of him, leaving Jacob frown and look over at Bella hopefully.

I clenched my teeth and glared daggers at him. I didn't like this dude already. Bella was still turned around and finishing up locking all of the metal plating over the windows so I grabbed a cup of water that was lying on the table and threw its contents at him.

He shrieked and jumped up like a deer that had just been shot and took off running into the kitchen, crying that it was cold.

I blinked and looked over to the other two on the couch. They stared back at me for a second before we all burst into laughter.

Bella took that moment to turn around and confusedly ask why the couch was wet.

The three of us laughed even harder.

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><p><strong>AN: It's such a great day to upload another chapter! Don't you guys think so? It's warm outside, that's a plus (well, where I live it is).**

**So, what did you guys think? I know it's random, but there _is _a warning at the top saying that this story is going to be _very _random and weird. Sorry, but this story really gets all the weridness off my shoulders. **

**Leave your interesting and creative responses in the review thingy below. Riiiight down there...blue letters. You just click on it...**


	5. Chapter 5

**WARNING: This story is completly random, not that it doesn't have a plot, it just has things coming at you at every corner.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Probably never will...unless I became the dictator of the world and forced Stephenie Meyer to give me the rights to her book (but that will never happen).**

**A/N: Hope you enjoy the story and its randomness!**

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><p>"Emmett! Why is there pixie stix all over the kitchen counter?" Bella screeched at me.<p>

I mumbled something incoherent and rolled over, cuddling up to my pillow. Bella snatched my pillow from under me and flung it across the other side of my bedroom. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head, trying to block out her hateful voice.

"Emmett, get up before I throw you out of this house and let the zombies have you!" She threatened as she yanked the blanket off of me, which I was tangled in, and caused me to fall to the wooden floor.

"You wouldn't be able to lift me." I mumbled while I glared at her through tired eyes.

She rolled her eyes and glowered at me. "Please, I can lift you better than you could lift that sack of potatoes you tried to lift up in fourth grade."

Ah, how she uses my painful memories against me. Whatever, I won't let her get to me. I just ignored her and curled up in a tight ball on the ground, closing my eyes and welcoming the deep slumber that was overtaking me.

Only to be repeatedly kicked in the shin by my annoying sister who was still glowering at me.

"You know, if you keep glowering like that, your face is going to be stuck like that forever." I calmly stated.

She just glowered even more and kicked me in the shin one last time before plopping down on my bed, demanding answers as to why the whole kitchen was ruined.

I shrugged and sat up. "Maybe it's because our guests are heavy partiers."

"You watched them all night! How could they party with you there?"

Innocence burned in my eyes as I looked up at her, "I tried to stop them, but they lured me in."

"Emmett, what exactly did you guys do?" She glared at me.

My eyes widened and I placed my hand over my heart, "How it wounds me that you would ever accuse me of destroying our kitchen with pixie stix and pancake syrup dear sister! And here I thought you trusted me more than this." I turned my head away from her and cried dramatically.

Apprehension flickered in her eyes and she slowly said, "I didn't mention anything about the kitchen being destroyed by pancake syrup..."

"Oh..." I murmured. I jumped up and dashed out of the room, Bella following me closely behind.

"Emmett, get back here!" She yelled after me.

I laughed and turned my head around, "You'll never catch me aliv - "

BAM!

I stumbled backwards, blinking slowly and reaching a hand to my head. Who closed that door? I fell towards the ground and landed with an 'oof' on my back. I stared in wonder at all the little birdies circling above me. I giggled and was about to ask Bella what kind of birds these were when I saw a carrot staring at me with wide eyes. He lifted his little orange arm and started to sing opera, closing his eyes and getting himself lost in the music coming out of his mouth.

My mouth watered as I gazed at him, and I picked him up and carefully placed him in the palm of my hand. He started to sing a really beautiful part of the song and his lips started trembling as he held a high opera note. My eyes teared up as I listened to the angelic tune. I started to caress the top of the little carrots head and he nuzzled my fingertips as he continued to sing.

I then stuffed him in my mouth, his screams of terror being muted as I shut my lips, effectively trapping the carrot. He started squirming, struggling to get out and away from the pain as I took precious care on chewing it and cherishing its carroty flavor.

"I don't think I am going to catch you alive if you die from eating that dust bunny." Bella said as she looked at me weirdly.

Her voice startled me and I looked up at her, confused. Dust bunny? What is she talking about; I am eating a carro - oh god.

My face scrunched up in disgust as I spit out the horror that was in my mouth, coughing to try to get all of it that I swallowed out of my throat.

"Why didn't you tell me it was a dust bunny earlier?" I wheezed out.

"I didn't expect you to _eat_ it!" she said with astounded eyes.

I pouted at her and lifted myself up; blabbering about how I thought it was a singing carrot.

She just stared at me like I was an alien that just invaded her planet and then pulled out a Rubix cube, solving it in front of her. She had her hair in a messy ponytail, her bangs hanging to the right and strands of it sticking upwards. Her blue jacket was wrinkled and her sleeve at her left shoulder was falling off while her jeans had several holes in them (but I think that is just the style...). All in all she looked like she just got mauled by a bear.

Or chased her twin brother throughout the entire house.

Bella puffed out a breath. "Whatever, at least I feel happy now." She smiled, opening the kitchen door that I ran into and skipping happily away.

I stared after her with my mouth agape. Why is she always happy when it involves my pain and embarrassment?

I followed her through the door, still a little miffed. Our three guests were sitting at the kitchen table, munching on some dry Froot Loops. Well, the only one who actually had Fruit Loops was Tanya, and her buddies were stealing some from her bowl while she continually swatted their hands away.

The table was actually the only thing clean in the disastrous room. The walls were splattered with green slime, melted cheddar cheese was dripping from the ceiling, the oven was steaming, the blender was oozing out a colorful concoction, the counter tops had various parts of food and liquids on it, and the fridge door was laying on the tiled floor, its contents spilled everywhere. And out of all this, Bella only worried about the _Pixie Stix_. I seriously, _seriously_ worry about that girl.

I sat down in one of the chairs across from the three hooligans. Bella was standing by the broken refrigerator door, gazing sadly at it. When she heard my chair screech against the wood, her head snapped back to me, glaring at me menacingly.

I gulped and grabbed the Froot Loops box, using it as a shield.

"What's going on guys?" Edward asked with humor, looking between my cowering form and the steam coming out of my sisters ears.

Bella narrowed her eyes at him, walking over to the table and plopping down in the furthest chair away from me. "Don't 'what's going on' me! You know as well as banana-face over there what exactly happened!"

His eyebrows shot up, brown eyes shining with false innocence. "I am not sure what you're referring to..."

"The kitchen! Who destroyed the KITCHEN!"

We all shrugged.

Bella growled and threw her arms up. "Well then who did it?" She yelled.

"Clearly it was zombies." I said as if it was obvious.

The others nodded in agreement.

Bella screamed frustratingly and stormed out of the kitchen. She slammed the door on her way out, making it rumble alarmingly.

You could hear another loud angry scream as the door toppled to the ground.

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><p><strong>Sorry for the wait guys. It's been a whole year, huh? I feel terrible about it, and just know that it's not gonna happen again. If it does, I'll warn you. I just went through a period where I didn't feel like writing and had no motivation for it. No sob story, just didn't have the heart to continue the story.<strong>

**But here you go, and I will continue to update this lovely story. I've grown up over the year, and now I think I can be a better writer this year and not let you guys down. If you're mad at me, I'll understand. But for those of you who are reading this, thank you for sticking with the story. It means a lot.**

**Anyways, enjoy! And review, so it'll give me that little extra push to update this story faster!**

**~ZombieApocalypse911~**


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING: This story is completely random, not that it doesn't have a plot, it just has things coming at you at every corner.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Probably never will...unless I became the dictator of the world and forced Stephenie Meyer to give me the rights to her book (but that will never happen).**

**A/N: Hope you enjoy the story and its randomness!**

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><p>I sidestepped the fridge door and opened a cabinet to my left.<p>

Then I promptly collapsed on the ground, rocking back and forth at the empty cabinet. Drool started running down my mouth, quickly covering my shirt with saliva. My muscles spasmed, making me look like I was having a seizure.

Tanya ran over to me and kneeled beside me, asking me what was wrong and if we needed to get the fire extinguisher out.

My eye twitched."Da ba-ba-na-na-nsss go-gone."

She looked at me as if I might explode. "What?"

I started foaming at the mouth, my eye twitching uncontrollably.

Edward and Jacob were still sitting at the table, staring at me with huge eyes.

Bella took this moment to walk through the kitchen, glancing at me for a second before grabbing a package of strawberry pop-tarts and opening them at the table, completely ignoring my mental breakdown.

"Babe, what's wrong with him?" Jacob whispered to Bella.

Bella glared at him through a huge bite of her pop-tart and answered, "Why don't you ask him yourself?" She spat, crumbs flew out of her mouth. "And don't call me babe." She added.

Jacob wiped pop-tart spittle off of his face, looking at his hand as if he wanted to lick it, but thought that would make him look weird and decided against it.

"Well he seems to have a mouthful right now, so I'm afraid he won't be able to answer our questions." Edward joked. Bella looked over at me, seeing me stuffing my sweater sleeve down my throat, trying to choke myself so I could be put out of misery.

"Can we sedate him?" Tanya asked with an evil glint to her eyes.

Jacob smiled an evil grin and pulled forth a tranquilizer from his pocket.

"No! No, you cannot sedate him!" Bella nervously eyed the tranquilizer, "Just scratch behind his ear and rub his tummy."

Tanya did as Bella said and I immediately calmed down and kicked my leg out a few times.

"Does this happen often?" Edward asked, amused.

"Only when we run out of bananas." Bella explained.

Jacob paused in biting the yellow fruit he was holding, hiding it behind his back.

I then fell into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

><p>I panted as I ran through the deserted alley. It was dark out and these strange looking creatures were following me. They had black eyes, no white whatsoever in them. Their faces were black with what looked like sharp needles sticking out on their chins, cheeks, and the middle of their forehead, and sharp, pointed teeth snarled ferociously at me. They had long black arms that were heavily muscled, with sharp claws that looked like the ones Freddy Kruger wore, dripping with blood. Then there was the long black muscled legs, looking as if they can kick you to mars faster than you can say, "Holy shmoly muffin pop!" I didn't know what they wanted, but one things for sure: they looked furious.<p>

My lungs burned with every breath I took and my heart was pounding against my rib cage feeling like it was going to burst. My legs felt like they couldn't carry me any further but my mind told me to keep going and get as far away as them as possible.

My eyes started watering at the thought of dying today. I didn't even have the chance to eat a banana this morning. I always pictured my death as me being 97 years old, rocking on a swing on the front porch, chewing happily on a banana. I guess being a fortune teller is being scratched off my career list. Well, actually I don't even have a career list. My mom used to remind me all the time that I was seventeen and that I should start looking for a college to apply to, but I was never really interested in any college or those career thingys. Then after the virus broke out, I didn't really need to even choose a career, seeing as there was nobody in the world to pay me if I got a job and-

I reached a dead end.

I doubled over and tried to catch my breath, then quickly swiveled around. The disturbing creatures were catching up to me faster than a pound truck on a lost puppy. They were running on all fours, digging their claws into the dirt and pulling themselves at astonishing speeds in my direction. They were growling loudly, hurting my ears. Either they were going to eat me, or they were going to kill me in a slow, painful death.

Or maybe they were going to kill me in a slow, painful death and _then _eat me.

Oh, the joys of dying a slow, painful death. Just thinking about it gave me "pleasant" shivers.

They were about to collide into me. Sucking in a deep breath and closing my eyes, I prepared myself for the inevitable.

Just as they pummeled into me, I was jolted awake by someone screaming in my ear. I smacked the face that woke me and rolled over, burying my head under my pillow.

Wait, bed? When the hell did I get in here?

"Come on Emmett, you have been asleep for four hours since you passed out in the kitchen." Bella complained.

I just breathed deeply through the tight space I had between my mouth and my mattress and ignored her.

Bella sighed and grabbed my ankles, yanking me off the bed.

I screeched when my stomach met the cold wooden floor, and then sat up, glaring at her.

She shrugged, smiling sweetly at me. She then looked at my room, ordering me to clean it up and walked out.

It wasn't that dirty. The king-sized bed was covered in a blood-red color, which was pretty ironic if you think about it. Zombies eat people...who have blood...and its color looks like blood - never mind. The bed wasn't made, and the sheets were wrinkled up in a ball. There were posters all over my walls, ranging for Green day all the way to Toy Story, covering every white surface of the walls. The wooden floor was fairly clean, with only a few items of clothes sprawled across it. But there was also a huge banana peel pile in the corner, which stank like something you would find in a sewer. It was my precious collection. If anything happened to it I would probably melt into a puddle, be cleaned up by a mop, put in a bucket, and be thrown in a sea of acid.

But, moving on, my room was clean besides the banana peel pile and clothes strewn across the floor. It wasn't even that big, which made it harder to keep clean. If you have a really huge room, you can just throw things everywhere and it would still look decent. But if you have a small room, one thing on the ground can make it look messy.

I turned to the iPod dock on the shelf that was nailed to the wall and pressed play. I started to clean my room while jamming to rock music. Bella hates rock music. She's the kind of person that is completely fun to be around and brings up interesting topics and has fun conversations, but lets the incredibly small things get to her.

For example: she got mad when she found the kitchen destroyed, she freaks out when I don't wash the dishes, she makes sure everything is picture-perfect material, and she scrubs the floor until it's squeaky clean. She didn't always used to be like this though. In fact, when our parents were still alive and way before the whole zombie thing came up, she was the most laid back person in the world. Heck, you could find her watching a hoarding show and not being tempted to drive over to the persons house and clean the entire place up. But when the city was taken over by the virus, I think everyone went a little mad.

I finished cleaning my room and left, leaving the stereo on full blast to annoy Bella. I went into the living room and sat down on the lazy boy, kicking my feet up on the recliner. I grabbed the remote and turned on the television, getting out my X-Box 360 controller and turning it on. I loved this console.

Jacob sat down on the leather sofa, laying down and resting his head on the end so he could have a clear view of the TV. "Do you have another controller?" he grinned.

I tossed him the other one.

The others found us an hour later, sitting up straight, eyes glued to the screen in front of us.

"Watch out! Smoker! SMOKER!" I warned him while stabbing a fat zombie in the face.

"I see him! Stop yelling at me!" Edward screamed at me. His avatar avoided its lashing tongue that would have strangled him and shot him with his pistol.

I raced my avatar upstairs, trying to find the witch. It was always fun killing her. She had really long claws and it was harder to kill her than everything else in the game. She could be really scary sometimes though, when she popped out of nowhere and killed you.

Edward flung a flare bomb at a group of zombies, lighting the room on fire, which wasn't a good idea since he needed to get up the stairs on the other side of the room. In order to do that, now he had to run through the towering flames that he created, and try not to burn to death.

I watched as his avatar safely made it to the other side, joining me up on the second floor. Now we were in a deserted hallway, looking in every corner for signs of the witch. All of a sudden a zombie popped out of a room, running towards us at a lightning fast speed. I made my character dodge it and roll out of the way, while Eddie-boy, not being so lucky, was thrown back all the way down the stairs, crashing into the wall.

"Dang it!" Edward exclaimed. His character was seeing black and white as his health was going down with every breath he breathed. I laughed at his misfortune, but was silenced as the witch appeared out of nowhere, clawing me to death.

"Oh, SHIZNITS!" I frantically hit a bunch of buttons on the controller, trying to stop the witch from killing me. Instead I watched in horror as my character bled out, dying in what was supposed to be the empty hallway.

Fuckward started snickering, not caring any more that his guy was already dead.

"Whatever, you died from crashing into a _wall_." I glared at him.

He scoffed, "Yeah, well at least I didn't die from a _girl_!" he smirked.

My mouth opened and closed, trying to quickly think of an excuse but my words failed me, leaving me speechless.

But it looks like I didn't even have to try to hurt him with my words seeing as Tanya stood behind where Edward was sitting and smacked him upside the head.

I smiled victoriously and relaxed against my chair, listening to him whine about how his head hurt while Tanya just crossed her arms and glared at him. "Us girls could kick your ass so hard that it'll turn as blue as a baby choking on a jumbo marshmallow."

"...Why would a baby be choking on a jumbo marshmallow?" Edward confusingly asked.

Starr blinked, "Um, because she was hungry and a giant marshmallow sounded appealing so she swallowed it, choking on it because she hasn't developed teeth to chew it yet." She said while looking at him as if he were stupid.

"Oh...I'm sorry babe. I get it now. "He smiled up at her.

Tanya started to smile.

"I get it how you weren't the brightest baby in the crib, and you probably looked adorable with a giant marshmallow stuffed in your mouth." He cooed while pinching her cheeks.

She scowled and walked away, huffing.

I chuckled and restarted the game.

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><p><strong>AN: Aaaaaannnnddd, there you go. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.**

**Thank you to all you guys who reviewed in the last chapter! I really appreciate it!**

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**Just down there...come on. You know you wanna. **


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